Because I Miss You.

I turned 15 today. I always thought that you'd be here for my 15th. You even told me that we'd travel to Europe for my 18th. And it pains me to think that you won't see me graduate hight school. Or (hopefully) get into Ateneo. Or be with me to travel the world like we always said we would. You won't get to see Mari and Arik graduate from grade school and college as well.

I miss you. I miss the sound of your voice. I miss the way your eyes would light up when you'd see me. I misss those times when you'd laughingly tell me to eat more. I miss your annual "Happy Birthday" texts even if you were already living with us.

I still feel your presence sometimes. I feel you tucking me into bed at night. I felt you holding my hand yesterday when I was having my ear checked. I heard your voice in my head last Thursday telling me to take care of Mari. I felt your presence watching over Mari when he was having his cast put on. I heard your voice last night urging me to sleep when I was reading. I heard your voice in my head telling me what to choose when I went shopping today. In everything that I bought today, I imagined what your reaction would be once you'd see it.

I know you're watching over me, Lola. I know you're keeping me safe. You kept Mari safe by not making his fracture worse than it could've been. You're keeping Arik safe while he's in Baguio. I know that you're taking care of us.

I'm still sad that you're gone, Lola. But I know you'll always be here for me. I love you. I miss you so much. I'm always thinking of you. One day, we'll see each other again. ♥