Apr 26, 2012

Lessons in Life

In less than a month, I will be turning 15 and will be entering my junior year in high school. To be honest, I still think of myself as a 10-year old girl, as a child. But I know, that in my 15 years of existence, I learned a thing or two about living life.

If I could sum up all my experiences in my (almost) 15 years it would be: expectation and disappointment. Let's just say that I expected a lot. That's an understatement. I expected too much from the people close to me and from myself as well. I was disappointed in myself because I didn’t act the way I should have. I didn’t take any risks. I didn’t live in the moment. To make it simple, I lived a life of disappointment. I’m disappointed in those endless days of procrastination during the school year when I could have done something productive. I’m disappointed because I put a lot of opportunities to waste. I’m disappointed because of the fact that I’m always so scared. I’m disappointed because I should have said how I really felt. I’m disappointed because I was, and still am, always dwelling on the past.

My biggest disappointment was that I didn’t say what I should have said. I didn’t say what I should have said to my mom, my dad, my brothers, my cousins, my friends, and to everyone else… Looking back, I can’t stop thinking of all my what ifs. What if I said the right thing? What if I studied yesterday instead of surfing on the internet? What if I chose to do this instead of that? What if I fought back? What if I turned right instead of left? What if I stopped being so scared all the time?

What if I stopped dwelling on the past and start living my life again?

But recently, I learned that I should take every opportunity that I get. I should not think too much on whether it’s worth it or not and just take it. If it was worth it, then good, I learned something new. If it wasn’t worth it, then it’s okay because I will learn from my mistake. It may be a risk to do certain things because what if it doesn’t work out? But you’ll never know what if it does?

I learned that change is unavoidable. People change. I don’t like change, especially if it’s a good situation turning into a bad one. We shouldn’t really dwell on change because that’s how life is. Ironically, the only permanent thing in the world is change. So I learned that we should accept the change, move on, and make the best of our current situation.

My (almost) 15 yeats taught me that I should stop being so scared. I should stop being afraid of everything because it will affect my outlook on how I make decisions. I should stop being so scared because you won’t get anything out of being scared and always choosing to do the safer thing. Taylor Swift has always been, and will forever be my idol because she took the risk. She was afraid, but she didn't opt to do the same thing. And she said, “Being fearless isn’t being 100% not fearful, it’s being terrified but you want to jump anyway.” She’s right. We mustn’t let our fears hinder us from laughing our heart out, loving to our heart’s content, dancing like there’s no tomorrow and living our life to the fullest.

We shouldn’t let our fears stop us from being happy.