9 Things I Learned From This Year's Simbang Gabi Masses

Simbang Gabi: a tradition in the Philippines during the Chrsistmas season of having a nine-day series of masses before Christmas. It is usually celbrated from December 16 to December 24 at dawn. There are also anticipated Simbang Gabi masses at night from December 15 to December 23.

I'm not a religious person. I pray, but I guess somehow, I learned a few things from going to mass.

1. Whether you like it or not, God has a dream for you.

2. God works magic in His own time, in mysterious ways.

3. There are patterns that happen in each family, in every generation, it's up to us if we want to break it or not.

4. Everything, life, our family, our friends, love, even the bad things that happen to us, is a gift.

5. We should be thankful for every little thing that happens to us.

6. There are times in life, when we just have to listen.

7. We can't survive life without a sense of humor.

8. Christmas isn't about the presents. It's about putting a smile on people's faces, making them happy for even just a few moments.

9. The secret to everything is in you.

The key to failure is trying to please everyone.

Going Back

I'm going to Baguio tomorrow. To visit your house. To see your things.
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I honestly don't know if I should be happy about this or not.

I still think about you. Help me, please? And Arik and Mari too? We're all going through some tough times right now and we need your help. I miss you.

Living for the Future

I constantly worry about my future. I worry that I will not get into my desired college (*cough* Ateneo *cough*). I worry that I will not have a good career or a good life after college. I worry about all the difficulties that I may go through tomorrow. But most of all, like any normal student out there, I worry about my grades. 

School gets out at 4pm, during Mondays to Wednesdays. Thursdays our dismissal is at 3, and on Fridays, our dismissal is at 2. After school, I usually get fetched at around five, and I usually arrive home at 5:30. Then, I change, and start studying. I continue to study until 9 or 10:30, and then I go to sleep. I spend half of my weekends studying, and the other half not studying, but constantly giving myself a tongue-lashing because I should be studying. 

This is nothing out of the ordinary. Students nowadays stay up until midnight just trying to get their homeworks done. If you ask a student why he/she wants to do that, then they will answer, "Because I want to get into a good college." Then once they get into college, they will continue to work hard and when you ask them why, they will answer, "Because I want to be successful and get a good job." Once they start working, they will still work hard and if you ask them why, they will say, "Because I want to have a happy retirement." Once they retire, they will still continue to work hard, but this time, I honestly don't know why.

We worry too much about the future when it will never come. We work hard so that we will have a good future, but what about our now?

A few days ago, my chemistry teacher was telling my class about how we should stay serious and not make a joke about everything. He told us that by this time we should start thinking about our future. I have nothing against that. I have nothing against planning ahead because this will lessen the hardships that we will experience in the future. 

But is the future all we think about? What about living in the present? I mean, we spend our whole lives living for the future when that's all it will ever be. The future. It will never be our present, it will never be our past, it will always be the future. The future will never come because every moment that we're in is the present. 

I'm sick and tired of worrying about the same old things. But knowing who I am, even if I don't like this habit of mine, I will forever worry about my future.